Shaky Knees, Strong Heart

Two weeks ago, I had a sudden pain in my left knee- one that would not leave, no matter what I did. Concerned that I pinched a nerve like I had in my other knee years ago, I did my best to rest it. I put a knee brace on, occasionally taking it off to ice it. After a couple of days of this interruption in my life, I finally borrowed a set of crutches. I just could not put pressure directly on it. Should I have gone to a doctor? Maybe. Did I? No. A good friend brought me over some all-natural pain patches. Those I was willing try. As you may know by now, I am not a fan of medication, so the all-natural Class 1 Medical Device patches appealed to me. They brought enough relief that I was able to be off the crutches by the next day and I thought I was good to go. (I am grateful to my family for not making goat noises while I painfully gimped around the house.)

Two days ago, I went for a walk- a little over a mile. Everything was fine. That evening, I pushed things a bit and went for a... gulp... jog. Not my brightest moment, that was for sure. I barely covered half a mile when the pain decided to come back full force. Sigh.

Yesterday, things were feeling rather fine until my dog decided to walk next to me and knock me off balance. When I tried to catch myself from falling, I stepped down hard on my left leg, causing the pain to shoot through my knee like a lightening bolt zaps an evergreen. Thankfully, my hubby caught me before I could totally fall to the ground.

As I have been feeling things out for my future goal of running a marathon, my kind husband pointed out that with my knee struggles (that I have had problems with since my childhood) perhaps I should plan on walking the marathon, instead of running it. I told him pointedly that walking it would take too long. He patiently replied that running it may be putting too much pressure on my knee and I am risking serious damage to it. I wondered how long it would take to walk a marathon.

On Sunday morning, I was studying what members of my Church call "The Lord's Law of Health" or "The Word of Wisdom." Especially since my diagnosis and since my one year "heartiversary" is approaching, I have been particularly interested in strengthening my newly functioning heart. In a sacred blessing I was once given, I was promised that if I live the Lord's Law of Health, my body would function properly and I would be able to overcome the illnesses and sickness that I would experience in this life. This makes me rejoice! With a little time and a little more recovery, I know my heart can withstand the marathon. What about my knees, though? They are rather shaky these days!

I have decided to trust in the blessings of God and move forward with this marathon goal. I am going to research out knee-strengthening exercises and focus on making them strong. Once I do that, I know I can do this! It will not be this year as I originally planned, as I am learning to slow down and proceed with caution, but I will accomplish my goal! I may have shaky knees now, but my heart is strong and like the Lord provided a way for my heart to be healed, so He shall with my knees.

My name is Jenny McKinney. My heart is strong and I really want some chocolate! (It's breakfast time. I wonder if I can find some around here.)

The Significance of 132

132... and ordinary number.... usually. Not to me. Not anymore.

Back on August 11th, the day before I was scheduled for my heart surgery to get the ICD for my ARVD (there are a LOT of initials in the heart world), I awoke from a dead sleep to a rate of 110 bpm. Dr. B had told me that if my heart rate got to 120, I would go into Sudden Cardiac Death. Waking up to that heart rate was a little.... terrifying. Of course, we know how this all turned out and I am here.

Why 132? What is so significant about that number? As I have been working towards my goal of marathon training I have had to learn to walk for long periods of time, then slowly add in jogging, so not to push my heart too hard. Yes, I have been given the "all-clear" to do what I want, but one thing I was told is to listen to my body. I still do not have all my strength back, although it has been just over 6 months. "It could take a year," is what Dr. B told me. Each time I go out to run (it really is jogging but apparently that counts as running) I listen to my heart and if she tells me I can run a little further, I do. On Tuesday this week, I reached a new milestone of TWO miles! Of course I walked part of that, but I am now up to two miles! At the end of that run, my heart rate was.... can you guess?..... 132 bpm!! Guess what? I felt GREAT! I may have been out of breath, jello legged, and walking by the end, but I was ALIVE!

Little by little everyday, I am finding more strength. I still have to rest sometimes and that is OK! The important thing is I keep trying... I keep working towards my goal. I hit a new milestone on the scale today. Positive changes are happening! Great things are happening! I can do this, because God makes the impossible.... possible!

My name is Jenny McKinney. I am ALIVE and I really don't want chocolate today.... not yet. ;)

Heart Hero Marathon

I have done it. I have gone completely batty..... or at least that was eluded to in a conversation I had today. I have decided to train this upcoming year to... gulp... run... RUN.... (I do not run!).... a marathon!! Unlike so many athletes out there who are in no way crazy, what makes me a little odd is that I do not even run! I love the outdoors and I enjoy taking walks. I even have enjoyed playing sports over the years for fun, but I am in no way an "athlete" and in no way a "runner." So what made me decide to set this hard-to-achieve goal? The Heart Warrior kids, of course!!

A few months back, I joined the IHH group (Intermountain Healing Hearts). They are SO loving and accepting of heart families, even us adults with CHD we did not know about until mid 30's. I fall in love with the heart kiddos everyday as parents ask for prayers, share stories of triumphs and tell about their heart child gaining angels wings. It is a place of healing, of support, of love. Recently, Taylorsville High in Salt Lake City had a fundraiser for IHH. As a thank you to them, IHH put together this video of some of the Heart Hero Warriors in our Heart Family. I fell in love with them even more! I have been praying for guidance as to what I can do to show my love and appreciation to this marvelous group of friends. I have been asking God to guide me to know how I can take my now-healthy heart and use it to bring glory to Him. I know He wants me to teach others about these heart heroes. These thoughts joined other thoughts I have been having.

I want to DO something to celebrate my life! I want to DO something to say, "Hey! God has used His great power to do wonders through me. Pay attention to what He does with you!" I want to DO something so one day someone will say, "Remember that crazy woman who _____? That inspired me. I want to do something as well." Then, a few days ago, I can across some love notes from Cheryl Nelson, my beloved high school English teacher, who passed away in 2000 from lung cancer. She was a marathon runner and breast cancer survivor. She was also like another mother to me. She was one of the most single impacting people in my life. I miss her greatly. She is still inspiring me today.

The past few weeks, I have considered not writing on this blog anymore. After all, I need to simplify things in my life. Then I thought, "What if? What if someone out there, just one person, needs to hear more of my story? Ah, but what story do I have to tell? I have shared my heart story." So, I prayed some more. After watching that video, finding these love notes, reading an article about her passing, and praying again about what I can do to bring light and love to the Heart Warriors, I knew what I had to do. I had to commit to something- BIG- and follow through. I had to tell people- publicly- about it so I can be held accountable. And now, the commitment is made and I am going to do it- I am going to run a marathon!

Please note: I am NOT doing this to bring any form of glory to myself. I am doing this because I want to honor Cheryl Nelson who inspired me to do something great in my life. I am doing this because I want to do what those Heart Warriors- the Jace's, the Baylee's, the Christina's- may never be able to do for themselves. Mostly, I am doing this to do this to bring honor to God. He did heal me, after all. So let's do something to celebrate!

Join with me on my journey as I began getting in shape so I can start training. Today, I took my first 20 minute walk since my heart procedure this summer. That is 20 minutes more than I could walk two months ago! Yes, I know I have a LONG way to go, especially since I am not a runner, but I know with God by my side, and Heart Warriors cheering me on, I will do this!

My name is Jenny McKinney. I might just be crazy because I am going to run a marathon. Oh, and I really, really want some chocolate, but will pass for now. ;)