Family Dynamics (Healing- PART II)

Like many of you, I come from a family with all sorts of dynamics. We have those who have stayed on the straight and narrow, those who have wandered and are still lost, and those who have left the path, been to the depths of hell, and found their way back, only to bask in the joy that comes from making choices pleasing to God. One thing that I have learned these past few months while living with my folks is that our parents (the ones I was born to that raised eight children) love their children. Now, all eight children may not see it, but I know it to be true. Over the past few months, I have seen my parents cry and grieve for the children who are hurting, and express sorrow for their own choices that may have led to the struggles of their children. They have expressed joy for the positive choices made, and have rejoiced when any of their children have accomplished something good, small or grand. Parents do not feel these emotions without love. Maybe not everyone can see it, but they love the best they know how.

When my family (my, the Hubby and kids) transitioned from Idaho to Utah this summer, my parents offered for us to stay with them while we looked for a place to live. This was going to be a very temporary stay, perhaps a month. We came on a Sunday. I had just finished all the tests in Idaho- the Echo, CT Scan, Cardiac MRI, etc. The only test left was to finish wearing the monitor. The week after we got to Utah is when my doctor called me from Idaho to share with me about the heart condition. It was a few days later I found out that I needed surgery. My parents did not hesitate. "Stay with while you go through your surgery and recovery." Even though the Hubby and I knew it would be tough in that small home with 9 people, I knew it would considerably lighten the load for me as the mother. I would not have to worry about who would oversee my children being fed, getting to bed, who would play "Mom" while Mom was down. The time with my parents definitely had some difficult moments (as being with family usually will), but there was great beauty in seeing my children get to know their grandparents. There was joy each day Gramma brought home stamps for Princess B's collection Gramma got her started on. There was definitely love. Even through the moments of me being frustrated with my brother, or my dad being a bit grumpy over me "nearly burning the house down" (It was one time, Dad!) there was love. There were long talks, laughter, silliness, love. They have loved us in the best way they know how.

That love has stayed with my little family as we have settled into our new lives in our new place. Now and again, I will see Princess B (age 6) sniffle a bit. When I ask her what is wrong, with sad, teary eyes, she answers, "I miss Gramma and Grampa." I remind her that isn't it wonderful we were able to spend that time with them while Mommy got better, so now she knows them well enough to miss them? I asked her what she loves about them. "Well, Gramma does bring me treasures (stamps) and she is kind. And Grampa is pretty funny." I then let her know that it is the memories she has made with them that make her love for them so special. It is healing to my heart to see these memories and love for her grandparents take place in the walls of my home.

Healing comes in all forms. Sometimes it is through service, other times it is relishing in the memories made. Right now, for me, it is in knowing that my parents, with their failing health, love me enough to take on a family of six for 4 1/2 months, so my heart can have a chance to be made whole.

My name is Jenny McKinney. My heart is healing and for once, I really do not want any chocolate.

Part III (final part of this series) coming soon!