Relapse

Do you remember way back when I had my surgery? (Ok, it wasn't that long ago!) For the first two weeks, I was doing waaaaay too much. (Now don't give me those looks! I had energy!) Although I found out is was because the energy was from the adrenaline pumped into my body after the procedure, to me it was like I was a squirrel who just drank a double caffeinated mocha latte*. When that ran out, BAM!! I was hit with a fatigue like a Whack-a-Mole victim suddenly getting taken out. Over time, though, I was able to rest a lot and slowly my strength has been returning.... until now.

With our recent move, the stairs that have forced their way into my life, and taking a daily turn at walking our beautiful Australian Shepherd, it is certainly understandable that I am a little run down. However, I went to bed last night with a lot of pain in the region of my lower surgical site and awoke feeling... relapsed.

I am more tired then I have been for weeks and the pain is as if I had the procedure three weeks ago, instead of three months. I do not have the energy to do anything today except get up to get a drink or a quick bite to eat. Perhaps part of it is because I am fighting an infection elsewhere in my body, but I am exhausted. I am back to taking daily naps, and they are usually an hour or more. This is really frustrating to a mother who has three homeschooled children and has finally began to feel more human in a very long time.

Maybe this is a relapse. Maybe it is my body telling me to slow down. I finally am going to my post-op appointment next week, so I can talk to the doctor about it then. (Now, please stop giving me those lecturing mother looks! I'll admit I was avoiding going in, but I finally made the appointment, all right?) I do not know if this is normal for others who have been through this same journey. What I do know is that I am trying to be patient in my healing process. I share this with you to remind you, as well as myself, that sometimes we need to be more patient, loving, and gentle, with ourselves.




*(I actually have no idea what that means because I do not drink coffee.)

My name is Jenny McKinney. I am working on my patience and I really want some chocolate!