New Year JOG!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Isn't it wonderful- to have a whole year to improve before the next one rolls around? Isn't it GREAT to have a whole new year to reach your potential? I LOVE having a new year!

Today, I did something I was not expecting to do just yet. For the first time in four years.... I jogged. I JOGGED!!! I was going up the incline and thought, "Why not? You've gotta try sometime!" So there I went- jogging! I remembered my jogging posture and went about 20 yards before I started walking again. WOW! That felt AMAZING! Because it felt so amazing, I decided to try it again! I walked about 30 yards, then started jogging again! I heard a vehicle approaching, so I looked to make sure I was not too close to its path when I heard, "You can do it! WOOO!!!" It was my HUSBAND! How cute is that?!?! I yelled at him,
     "I'm jogging! I'm jogging! I'm really doing it!" all while passing the mark I had set as my goal. As I jogged and he drove, we chatted.
     "How does it feel?" he asked with a big smile on his face.
     "It feels AMAZING!" I enthusiastically responded. Do you know what? It did feel great! I continued doing the walk/jog/walk/jog rhythm, paying close attention to how my heart area felt. I want to weep as I write this. For this first time in adulthood that I can recall, my heart did not hurt when I jogged! 

I cannot tell you how awe-inspiring it is to think that 6 months ago I was told my heart was failing and I needed a life-saving surgery and today I was jogging without any pain. God is so Good! He lead the medical team to save my life. He performed a miracle in me. How can I not continue on this path that He has placed me on? How can I not think of my little heart friends?

My name is Jenny McKinney. I am officially a jogger (runner?) and I do NOT want any chocolate, because I had too much last night! ;)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

    

The Miracle of my Heart- Part II

The Procedure Hours
As I was wheeled into the lab (reminder: the OR for the heart and lung unit), they gave me a nice warm blankey to cover myself up as I was transferred onto the operating table.  Ah, so toasty!  Introductions were made all around.  What a nice team they were!  After I told them my daughter's instructions and they said they planned on fixing my heart the best they could, the anesthesiologist said,  "All right, I have just given you some happy juice.  Some people do not like how it makes them feel."  I replied that I didn't either.  I did not even get to count backwards from 10, because I was out so fast.  The next memory I have, I was waking up in recovery- 3 1/2 hours later!

I love when I am entertaining to others and have no recollection of it myself.  My husband, children, and closest friends refer to this behavior as the "after 10 drunkness."  My mother was witness to this behavior, as well as the medical team, as I was coming out of my unconscious state, totally loopy from the drugs that had me knocked out.  "Whooooo are youuuuu??" I asked the nurse.  Apparently Nurse Brandi introduced herself to me 3 times before I finally remembered we had met already.  The same went for the others in the room.  I would ask a question, then doze off.  Ask a question, then doze off, keeping everyone in stitches while doing so.  Some of the other question consisted of, "Where... where am I?" and "What is going on here?"  Ah... I love not remembering.  I even called my hubby and sister to let them know everything went well... and later had to be told I talked to them, because I did not remember.

The Best News EVER
I am sure it was a bit nerve racking for my mom to be the one to take in all the news from Dr. B, since I was a bit.... incoherent.  She was told everything went really well and they did not put in the ICD.  When she asked if I would be coming back later in the week to get it, she was told the best news ever: It looked like I will never need it!!  Say what??  Here is what was explained to me over the next few hours. 

This Never Happens
When the camera was placed in my heart, the med team quickly learned that it is not as enlarged as they thought it was originally.  I was given the medicine to make my heart act up in order to find the circuit(s) causing the problem.  Even if they were to find the circuit and ablate it, my condition was bad enough I needed the ICD to live!  What happened was they immediately were able to find the circuit causing the arrhythmia.  "This never happens," is what the nurse explained to me.  She said usually when they get in there, the heart decides to behave and it takes several tries to find the correct circuit.  This was not the case for me.  They fixed the problem by cauterizing the end of the circuit, ultimately making little scars on my heart in order to create a new electrical flow.  My heart began to beat normally, evenly, for the first time in my entire adult life.  After it was stable, they gave me more meds, trying to cause it to react to negative situation that could occur in the future- arrhythmia, cardiac arrest, etc.  The great news?  My heart kept beating steadily and never responded to the drugs.  The problem was fixed!!  Once it was fixed, it was determined I would never have to have the ICD and the ARVD is simply..... gone!  I do not have it anymore!  (Now what will I blog about?)  I will no longer have the dizzy spells, the fatigue, the passing out!  After more than 16 years, my heart will not fight me everyday.  It also looks as if my children will not inherit the condition after all!!  Say what?  Could that be because in the two short weeks my genes had changed enough that they were no longer convinced this was a genetic mutation?  I do not know (and whether or not you agree) but I believe those products certainly could have had something to do with that conclusion.

So Now What?
In three weeks, I go in for a check up.  As I said before, for the first time in my adult life (I was diagnosed with arrhythmia at age 20. I am now 36) my heart is working properly.  Beep... beep... beep... said the steady beeps on the monitor as I looked at it after the procedure.  At last!  Before I went in, my heart rate could not even stay above 60 bpm.  It was even dropping into the 40's.  After, it was a steady 78 bpm.  Hallelujah!!  I am having to take it really easy for 3-4 days with no lifting more than a jug of milk, only stepping up with my left leg first, walking around for 5-10 min at a time, but mostly staying down or sitting at a angle in which I am not bending at the hip.  In a week, I will be able to start doing normal things again.  What is normal?  Driving (I have not done this for months), taking walks with my kids, sitting and playing a card game from start to finish, without passing out in the middle of it etc.  In 2 months, my heart will be working 100% perfectly, after it has time to adjust to the changes.  I might feel a flutter here and there, but that is because it is adjusting to the new circuit flow and rhythm.

Yesterday morning, my hubby said I already looked healthier.  What a GREAT compliment!  For the first time in my children's lives, their mommy will be healthy and strong.  How can we not rejoice?

I firmly believe that I am to use this experience to help others learn about this life-threatening condition.  Some of the blessings (besides the ones I have already told you about just now) are that I have made new friends along the way and strengthened already existing friendships.  I have seen the smiles on the faces of my loved ones as they have learned that I no longer am at high risk for sudden cardiac death.  I have felt Heaven's blessings pour abundantly on us as we have been loved through this very difficult time in our lives.  My heart is healthy.  My heart beats strong.  How can I deny that this is a Divine outcome?

I had an amazing team of doctors and nurses.  For them, I will be forever grateful.  I went into the surgery lab with my doctor planning on giving me a permanent device to keep me alive.  I came out without one, and my heart was fixed for good. "This never happens, Jenny."  Well, it did and in my book, that is a miracle!

My name is Jenny McKinney.  My heart is miraculous and you bet I really want some chocolate!

 

In the Lord's Hands

I woke up at precisely a quarter after 5 this morning and am grateful I did.  (I just typed that in my best British accent, by the way.  Now I am thinking in a British accent.)  I have to fast for 6 hours prior to my surgery, which means I could not eat past 5:30 am.  Not wanting to wake anyone by fixing a large breakfast, I grabbed a cup of yogurt and a spoon and headed to eat while ..... in the privy.  (Yep, still British.  I am a huge Jane Austen and BBC fan, you know.)  I ate, finished my business, then after washing my hands, brushed my teeth so I was not tempted to eat the remainder of the morning.  Here we are, 30 minutes later and I am starving!!  The good news is there is only now 5 1/2 hours until I prep for surgery. Bravo!

(Back to my regular, western tone, folks.) As nervous as I am about having... gulp... surgical equipment taken to my body today and later this week, deep down, I am relieved.  For 16 years I have struggled with the fainting, the dizziness, the irregular rhythms.  I realize that everything will not be perfect after the surgeries, but they will be much better than they have been.  For that, I am most grateful.

Late last night, I had a long conversation with one of my very dearest friends.  She reminded me of a conversation we had several months back about the state of my health.  She told me, "Jenny, you said that if this doctor (Dr. L in Idaho) could not give you answers, you would be done with doctors.  You got answers and now something is being done.  Obviously the Lord is not done with you yet."  This brings great comfort to my heart (no pun intended... ok, maybe a little bit).  Who am I to argue when the Lord is done with me? 

Now today, I will put my heart in the hands of the doctors who are being the hands of the Lord.  I know they will be guided in searching for the misbehaving circuits to fix and that will be as it is supposed to.  Whatever happens, I fully trust in their care and capabilities.  I know they will be guided and that my heart will be better because of their expertise and training.  All will be well, because God is at the wheel.

My name is Jenny McKinney.  My heart begins to change today and to celebrate I really want some chocolate (but since I am fasting, I won't have any.)  Cheerio!

The Blessings of Receiving

It is interesting to see the work of the Lord in my life right now.  There are times where I am on the receiving end of service, but more often, I am on the giving end of it all.  So often of late, I feel like I am on the receiving end and only that.  It seems to go against my very nature.  I think the Lord wants me to learn humility.  Again.  This seemingly constant inner struggle of being a receiver has led me to really start counting my blessings.  When we count our blessings and express gratitude, we draw closer to God.  We speak in one of His greatest love languages.  After recent conversations with friends, and counting kindnesses that I have been blessed with, I see this is how it must be.  For the first time in many years, I really need to learn how to take care of me.  My auntie once told me that to deny others the opportunity to serve us is to deny them blessings.  How can I deny blessings to others?  How can I not feel blessed to be on this receiving end at this time in my life?  I will rest.  I will be open and accepting of the kindness of others.  I will be grateful.

Through this journey to healing my heart, I am making new friends and bonding deeply with ones I was already blessed to have in my life.  Some of these friends have done things that have touched me deeply, like changing their Facebook profile pictures to match my own heart one, asking for prayers on my behalf, and just sending notes of love and encouragement.  I am so humbled and grateful for those acts of kindness.  My new friend, Lindsey, has this same, rare condition and she has been offering me wonderful insight and understanding through this difficult time.  For this, I am grateful.  Yesterday, she wrote to me, "I can't say for sure if you'll be okay, but you are in my prayers. I ask that you first and foremost receive peace, that God's work be done in your life, and that He heal your heart."  God's work is certainly being done in my life, of nothing more than reminding me of how I must be more humble, more accepting, more grateful.

This Monday, I go in for the first of two procedures.  To some, it may seem routine.  To me, it is not.  I am nervous, but I am not scared for the Lord has my heart in His hands.  I know many are praying on my behalf, for which I am grateful.  For those that would like to join my husband and I, we will also be holding a special fast that day as well, that the doctors hands will be guided this week, that the Lord will do His wonders among us, and that the breaks of this heart will be mended. Like my friend Lindsey so kindly expressed, I do not know if I will be okay, but I know God's work will be done in my life.

My name is Jenny McKinney and my heart is in God's hands. Oh, and I really want some chocolate.