The past little while has been..... a roller coaster, to say the least. We have finally moved to Utah, but are not quite settled, as we are staying with my folks until we get our own place this summer. The last two months I was in Idaho, we finished the show, packed our house, moved it into storage and sold off many of our belongings, moved in with two families (our family was split up the last month), missed The Hubby while he paved the way for us in Utah, and I went through a bunch of heart testing. Now that we know what is coming for my heart and I would like to tell you my story.
I have been struggling with heart issues for 16 years and lately it has gotten worse. When I was 20 and pregnant with our first baby, my hubby took me to the ER for what we learned were kidney stones (not my first time having them.) I also came away with a diagnosis of arrhythmia. Over the years, I struggled a LOT with fainting spells (which sent me into early labor MANY times) as well as fatigue. Every year, when I had these frequent fainting spells, I would get tests ran and year after year I would see specialists. Because most of the trouble happened when I was pregnant, there were only so many tests they could run. Ultimately, I was told time and time again, that something was wrong with my heart and there was nothing they could do, because they could not pinpoint the problem. So, I lived with it all these years. I cannot count the number of dizzy spells, fainting spells, and chest pains I have struggled from over the years. Along with it (and a story for another day) I have had multiple miscarriages. (Now I think my heart would not have been able to handle giving birth so many times, so the Lord took those precious spirits home so I could stay and finish my work.)
The Hubby and I have fasted and prayed and pondered much over the years when to keep going with tests and when to stop. From past experience, I knew the docs would say, "Yep, something is wrong, but we don't know what it is..." and there is nothing they can do about that. One day, after a bunch of testing that proved nothing significant, and a particular fast, the Spirit whispered very clearly to me, "There is something wrong. The doctors will not be able to find it. You have to do this on your own." So, I did.
After I went to see my dentist a few months later, I knew I really needed to figure this out. My teeth, that had always been healthy, had suddenly began decaying- at a very quick pace. Three year prior (yes, it had been that long since I had seen a dentist) I did not have one cavity. Now I had THAT many?!?! What in the world was happening? After may Q&A's, it was concluded I may have an autoimmune dis-ease from what we could tell. The dental pros (there were two of them) did all they could to save my teeth and in the end, I only lost two teeth, which was pretty amazing considering the circumstances. They were not the first medical pros that month to tell me I may have this condition. So, I decided to go see my doc- a NEW doc- and maybe, just maybe this would give me some answers I had not had before.
The new doc (who came highly recommended by several friends) held a Q&A session with me as well. He knew almost immediately what was wrong- my heart troubles, my kidney history (infections and stones), and now my teeth. He just KNEW that it was either my thyroid or I had Lupus (the same condition three medical pros had suggested that previous month.) We did tests and ..... they were inconclusive. (Which is pretty standard from what I gather when testing for Lupus. It is VERY hard to diagnose.) So we decided to just treat it as Lupus and check back in a few months later. During those months, I started getting some great results. I figured out red meat causes my joints to inflame, so I gave that up.... mostly. (You have to have a few bites of roast now and then when you are a dairy mans daughter!) In previous months, I walked the fine line of life or death and yet, we still could not get answers. (I am grateful to the wonderful friends who took care of my family while I was so sick and The Hubby was working out of state.) Once again, there was nothing to really do, but try and figure it out on my own. So I did a LOT of research and concluded I must have Lupus. However, that only lasted a while. Most of the symptoms went away, kidneys were fine, the teeth were treated and saved and no more major issues there, but.... my heart started acting up again.
Skip to recent months.
During the time of the 2012 Prison programs, as well as doing the Emma show this spring, I was also struggling with a lot of dizziness, fatigue, fainting spells and chest pain. There was much to do, so I just pushed through it. Then, at the insistence of many dear friends, I finally went in to my family doc to get an EKG. (When you pass out at church, the third time, they really push you to see a doc.) This was, of course, to put to ease the minds and hearts of those around me. I knew there was nothing the docs could do. Or was there? Turns out, since I did all I could on my own, the Lord stepped up the plan. You see, during these months I had an experience that told me VERY clearly what was to be done and what would happen if I did not do it. I went back into my doc, he ran the EKG and sent me to see a cardiologist a few days later.
She. Is. Amazing. For the first time ever, I felt like I had a specialist who actually cared what was happening to my heart. We have ran a series of tests (EKG from 1st doc, blood workup, echocardiogram, CT Scan and most recently, a Cardiac MRI- which is a miracle in itself that I was able to get it before I left Idaho.) The tests results came in after the move to Utah. She got a 2nd opinion before she even called me. I have now seen another specialist- an electrophysiologist- here in SLC.
As it turns out, I may have congenital heart defect, meaning I was born with it. My electrical system is all messed up as a result of the right side of my heart (right ventricle) being enlarged. I cannot remember the initials of the condition I have (I did not right it down, duh!) but I can tell you that it can be life-threatening if I am not very careful with how I treat my body. Because of my family history and the wonderful genetic gift I have received, I am due to get a procedure in a few weeks, then surgery after that. The procedure I will be getting is an electrophysiology study. After that, I will most likely (although we will not know for sure until after the study) be getting an ICD implant. (Yes, I want to be just like my daddy when I grow up!)
All of this sounds scary- and I will be honest, it has been- but after a LOT of prayers, blessings and fasting, I feel very at peace that the Lord has His hand in all of this. We are following the promptings He is giving us on how to best take care of my heart, and in turn, my family. We are very blessed here in Utah, surrounded by family and friends and good work to sustain us. I have a husband and children who take really great care of me. I am grateful to them.
If I am a little lacking in sharing my music, I hope this will better help you understand why. I hope my story can help someone understand that we can make decisions that are tough, but necessary, as long as we are willing to let the Lord guide us. I know I will be ok. I have been promised that. I am not scared. I am moving forward in faith. I pray that you can as well, in whatever decisions you have to make.
Thank you for your ongoing support and love.
With Hope,
Jenny McKinney
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